The Book of Love
Also By The Author
Light On Fire
Aedamar experienced a spontaneous mystical awakening in July 2015. Her first mystical experience was of divine union with Jesus in a blaze of fire. Her visions and mystical experiences continue to this day. Christ has continually asked her to ‘Share my love with the world.’ By this, Aedamar understands Christ wants her to make her visions public although this is not something she would naturally choose to do. It has been a personal struggle for her to come to terms with making her intimate spiritual life public.
This e-book presents a selection of Aedamar’s visionary experiences and locutions, primarily from between 2021 – 2022, during which period Aedamar began to have mystical experiences that seem to belong to the lineage of the Exchange of the Sacred Heart. Other themes that run through these visons are the chalice and the rose.
Aedamar is in her process of transcribing her journals and will share further visions and locutions in due course.
‘Tell them I AM Love. Tell them I AM Love. Tell them I AM nothing but love.’
‘If I lay my Sacred Heart on the pages of your books will you share my love with the world?’
Mandala art offered by Allison Cooke
‘Tell them I AM Love. Tell them I AM Love. Tell them I AM nothing but Love. I have appointed you to speak my holy name of Love back into the world. I have anointed you to speak as a messenger of my love. You are a channel of my love, chosen to deliver my message of Love to the world. Do not worry about those who will not listen, but share my love with those who are hungry for my love. My love is the food of life. I have filled you with my love that you may share it with the world. Speak my holy name of love back into the world that I created in love. This is a book of love that I have asked you to write in my holy name. My name is Love. I AM Love.’
Having yet again brought my fears to Christ about making my visionary life public as he continually asks me to do, Jesus spoke to me with infinite tenderness and said,
‘Do not be ashamed of my holy name. Let me speak through you. I have chosen you as a golden gate through which I enter the world. … Speak for me, and I will speak for you. … Let me live in you as you and let me speak to my people through you.’
‘Daughter of my heart, you carry my sacred word to my people at this time. Do not fear to speak for me – do not try to lay a path for me – I myself have laid a path of gold for my own acceptance. All you must do is speak and share all that I have shared with you of love. Go in my name and speak my holy name of love back into creation. I AM in you, you are in me, we are one. Go, set fire to the world.’
I recalled the day he said to me,
‘I AM the Annunciation of Love. Announce my Love.’
Jesus then spoke into my heart:
‘Do you think I come for you because you are perfect? I come for you because you are broken. I take you to myself in your brokenness so that I may heal you with my love. Love alone heals. Let me heal you with my love.’ … ‘Let me be in you to heal you as a physician.’
‘Do not try to make my words palatable to the people. My words may hurt. As a physician must hurt the patient to help them heal, I must hurt you to help you heal. The wound I make in you is the incision required to excise the blind spot of your ego which thinks it holds the answer to all things. I excise this blind-I-eye and replace it with the wisdom of your third eye so that you may see me as I AM.’
‘Open the floodgates of your heart and let my blood flow through you onto the pages of your books. My blood flows from the wounds inflicted on me by humanity and which have not healed. My blood reddens the earth until humanity will allow me to heal it with my love. I carry the wounds of humanity which bleed in me. Until you let me heal you with my love, you will not heal. I AM the Way of Love. I AM the Way to heal. Love me to heal me. Heal my wounds with your love.’
…
‘Write my love into the world and care not how it is received. I will receive my own love in the hearts of those who long for my love.’
During my morning sit I heard the Divine Voice say:
‘Give birth to me as I give birth to you. In your heart and your mind, in your being and your soul, labour to give birth to that which gave birth to you. I AM your mother, your father. I AM that which birthed you into existence. Now birth me out of the heart-womb of love I placed in you in the very beginning.’
I heard the Divine Voice say:
‘Let me rest in you. Make a home for me in your heart, in your mind, and in your whole being. Carry me in your womb of love and bring me home to my own self. I have made a home for myself in you in order that you would return me to myself. I surrendered my whole self to you that you would return me to my love. I entrusted my whole self to you in love. Entrust yourself to me as I entrust my myself to you. Make a home for yourself in me as I have made a home for myself in you. Let me be you so that I can be me. Let me be you so that I can be who I AM.’
I began my morning sit with my new understanding that I am to share my holy writings as they are. Nothing is needed from me either by way of explanation or contextualisation. I am simply to share all that I experience as plainly as I record it all in my journal. Then I prayed to my Divine Mother, Maria Magdalena, saying: ‘I return to my mother, Love.’ She replied; ‘Now is the time for you to speak the word of love into the world, to tell others of the fire of love that burns in your heart for me. When you speak, you help others to know that what they too feel in their hearts is a fire of love for Love itself.’
As soon as I awoke this morning I felt the spirit of Ezekiel very strongly in me. I then read the opening passages of the book of Ezekiel and read as follows; “Speak and do not be afraid … speak even though they will not listen and you will be surrounded by brambles and live among scorpions.”
Then sitting outside in the garden praying to God and asking Ezekiel to bless me … then hearing God say,
‘You must be yourself so you can live for me. …. I have anointed you to live here, now, and to speak my holy name of love back into the world once more.’
A little while later I heard,
‘Be at peace as I AM Peace. Trust in me as I trust in you. I would not entrust my holy word to you if I would not help you to share it with the people. Help me to help you. Do not resist my love but let it flow through you freely as a river. Do not block the flow of my love through you. I AM flowing in you as the Spirit of Love – Do not thwart me from coming through you to others. This is the new Church - ordinary people speaking for me with no pulpit and no authority beyond my own. My followers know me. Let me speak to them through you. Tell them of my love. Tell them you have seen the light and that the light is love.’… ‘Speak for me and I will speak for you.’ … ‘The piece of coal Ezekiel placed in your throat burns with the fire of my love – let it burn in you so others may be touched by its flames of love.’ He said, ‘Be for me and I will be for you.’
Jesus said:
‘Teach them, not by trying to convince them with rational arguments, teach them by revealing the love that is in your heart for me and my love for you. Show them the fire of our love for each other that ignites and touches the whole of humanity as it touches the whole of heaven.
The fire of our love for each other is the blaze of the father finding his daughter once more and the daughter finding her father – reuniting in a fire of love. … Let me burn in the fire of your love for me as I burn in the fire of your love for me.’
Burning alive in a fire of love I said to Christ, ‘I am pregnant with love.’ Jesus answered me,
‘Birth me out into the world so all will know that I AM nothing but Love.’
With my inner seeing, I see Jesus hanging on the Cross. I see myself at the foot of the Cross and his blood spilling down from his wounds. I catch his flowing blood into the cup of my body, my being, my essence. His blood flowed into the cup of my love and then I saw that from my heart space down, my body had become a golden chalice. I heard Jesus say,
‘You are a chalice of my love in the world. I have filled your cup to overflowing. Carry my love to the world. Share my love with the world.’
A little while later, he said,
‘You must present me to the world as I AM in you – not in your interpretation of me – but in the raw and holy form of who I AM – which is Love.’ … ‘Why will you not share with the world all that I have shared with you?’
That evening as I prayed, I offered my words as flowers – as roses blossoming on the Crown of Thorns. Just as a gardener might offer flowers onto the altar, I offered my words. I heard Jesus speak in my heart,
‘Gather my words into the vase of your love and present them on the altar of my love. I will tend to your flowers with tenderness and care. I will water them with my love as you have watered me with the tears of your love.’ … ‘Catch my blood in your cup – let me fill your chalice with my love and present it to the world in my holy name.’
Then he reminded me of the saying, ‘I AM the Light that darkness cannot overcome.’
In my morning sit I was determined to ask nothing of Jesus – but begging that he would show me how I can help, how I am to share these visions, given my confusion and seeming ineptitude to do as he asks. There was fire burning in me non-stop. But, in telling Jesus that I asked for nothing for myself, he filled me to overflowing with his holy fire. He said again,
‘I have filled your cup with my blood which is love.’
There was unbelievable spiritual fire burning in my body.
Morning meditation. I was open to experiencing the gift of feeling the presence of God – or not. Then an inner clarity dawned. That, spiritual transformation is a silent quiet inner transformation of one’s being and essence so that a new and sacred awareness grows of the holy connection of all that exists in an intelligent unfolding that we call life.
Then I began to meditate and I heard Jesus say, ‘Listen to me.’ I listened into the silence.
Then I prayed to Jesus, saying ‘Hold me in your heart.’ And as I prayed these words, it happened - as it often happens - that simultaneously I heard Jesus making the same prayer to me, and so I heard him say, ‘Hold me in your heart.’
Then he spoke again in my heart, saying,
‘Hold me in your heart and carry me to the world. Share me with the world …. Share me with the world as I share you with the world.’
I was feeling the holiness of all that I write for Jesus and understanding that he will place this writing into the hands of those he wishes to read it. I was also hearing him say, ‘I will make your light shine in my holy name.’ Falling into humble awe … and saying, If this is true, there is nothing but humble awe in my heart. If it be your will Jesus, my beloved father.
Then Jesus spoke again. He said, ‘Carry me to the world in your holy words.’ I was feeling unspeakable awe at all that was unfolding. Afterwards, as I was writing the experience in my journal, I also wrote about the confusion that was in my mind. I wrote, ‘I feel I’m just not getting it – I’m not getting what Jesus wants me to do.’ And as I wrote those words, I again heard Jesus speak tenderly in my heart, saying ‘Share me with the world.’
Counsel from Christ:
‘The world may not be ready for what you have to offer but we ready the world to receive it by offering it.’
On Easter Monday, as I sat in meditation, I heard,
‘I have filled your cup with my blood – share it with the world. I have made a holy chalice of your body and filled it with my blood that others may drink my blood from you and become my light in the world.’
Such sacred holiness to see myself at the foot of the Cross. Jesus’ blood pouring into me as a blessing and an anointing.
‘I have made of you a chalice of my blood; when I say, “Take and drink” I mean that my people will drink me from your cup.’
I felt it all as a most holy transmission of love, a holy anointing. Then hearing,
‘Become a chalice of my blood for the world.’
In awe, I prayed – ‘Jesus, let your blood run in my veins.’ He answered,
‘Whose blood but mine runs in your veins? I created you out of my own self – my blood alone runs in your veins.’
Fire, Fire, Fire exploding in my body.
Unspeakable holiness. I heard Jesus say, ‘I have given my whole self to you to carry me to the world.’ … ‘I have given my whole self to you, share me with the world.’
One day around Pentecost, I was sitting to meditate and resisting every inclination to move towards a mystical experience. I was desiring not to desire a moment of union. Desiring to be nothing but stillness. Yet, it was impossible to resist the inflow of holiness. Holy fire was burning spontaneously in my body. I was feeling Jesus, my beloved, with me, in me, all around me. Remembering the Gospel story in which Jesus appears to the apostles in the upper room and charges them to preach. I had a deep sense that I was also in that room. And I sensed that today I am again receiving the same holy instruction. Then I heard, ‘I AM in you. Re-form my church.’ The holiness was close to unbearable or un-containable. Resisting delusion I begged St Teresa of Ávila instantly to be by my side to protect me and let me know if this is truth or delusion. I was feeling utter sacredness. Then I heard Jesus saying:
‘I have given my whole self to you; share me with the world. You are my holy presence in the world. You are to build my new Church of Love. I charge you to begin again, in my name, my holy Church of Love.’ … ‘Carry me to the world.’
I heard Christ say,
‘Why do you judge yourself by human standards, by the standards of those who are blind and asleep? Why do you not judge yourself by the standards of heaven that you have seen, that I have shown to you? By the standard of my joy in you, my delight in you? By all that I have shown you of the Light? Why do you not judge yourself by my love and by my gifts to you but instead allow yourself to fill with fear because those around you have not yet awakened to my love? Why do you run slower than you can – to keep pace with people who cannot run as fast as you? Why do you hide my light? Why do you fear to speak for my light when you know my light is true? I have filled your treasure chest with the jewels of my love that I ask you to share.’
Morning sit. Feeling sublime holiness in me and around me during meditation. Afterwards, the feeling of holiness was still so deep in me I could barely pick up my pen to write in my journal. During the sit, with my inner hearing, I heard these words spontaneously speaking themselves with my inner voice: ‘I am becoming Christ. Christ is becoming me.’ A fire of love exploded in my body and carried me far beyond this earthly realm. Then Jesus spoke to me:
‘I have placed my Sacred heart in you for you to carry in the world. I will bear my fruit, the fruit of my love, in you and through you.’
I was experiencing the most holy sacredness - far beyond anything I had ever felt before, as holy as the highest holiness I have ever experienced. Jesus continued:
‘My heart is your heart now and your heart is mine. Daughter of my love, share me with the world. A little while later I heard, ‘It is my love that fills the earth, it is my love that fills the heavens. It is my love that makes the flowers grow, it is my love that makes the wind blow, it is my love that makes the tide turn. It is my love that I plant in you that you may bear the fruit of my love in you and in the world.’ … ‘Be for me as I AM for you, holy daughter of my love, transfigured in my love, by my love. Share my love with the world.’
I was feeling the most staggering awe at what has just occurred and unfolded. I was speechless, almost unable to reply. All I could say was, ‘I pray to do your holy will, Jesus, Christ, my beloved.’
After some time, I said, ‘If it is true that you have placed your Sacred Heart in me – then help me every second of every day to carry you with reverence and humility in my being and in my doing. Thy will alone, holy father, mother. Thy will alone and not mine.’ … I am certain I have never been as affected by a locution as I am by this one. Amen. Thank you, Christ, by your will alone do I choose to live. Amen.
Illuminated by Fire
Illuminated by the Light
Illuminated by Love
That evening I went to Adoration in the local church. As I prayed, I felt staggering holiness flooding into me. Jesus was flooding his love and his words into me, and into my heart. It was an indescribable flood of love. Then again, like this morning, I spontaneously heard, ‘I am Christ and Christ is me.’ There was an explosion of holy fire in my body. I heard,
‘I have placed my Sacred Heart in your heart that you would carry my love to the world in my holy name.’ Unspeakable holiness. ‘My heart is your heart. Your heart is my heart. We are one heart and we are one love.’
There was a flood of love raining into me … it was even too much to bear. I kept praying that only the highest light of Christ approach me, offer itself to me, touch me. I prayed, asking, ‘Are you the Christ?’ three times. Then I heard,
‘Who but me would speak so tenderly of love to you, daughter of my love? Who but me would share my love with you? I fill you with my love that you would carry me to the world. Carry my love to the world. Carry my peace to the world. Carry my joy to the world.’ It was so intense and holy and incredible that I asked Jesus, ‘Why do you fill me to overflowing with these gifts of your love?’ Jesus said, ‘I fill you to overflowing so that you will share my love with the world.’
Then, feeling I could be annihilated by the holiness of what I was experiencing and by the fire of love that was exploding in my body and my being I actually asked Jesus to stop – I said, ‘It’s too much.’ Then I asked in awe, ‘Why do you give me such heavenly gifts?’ Jesus said, ‘I give you so much because you ask for nothing. Many people ask for things for themselves but you ask for nothing.’
Then I implored beloved Teresa of Jesus (Teresa of Ávila) to stand with me and protect me from delusion. I asked her to stand between me and this flood of love to ensure its holy origin in the one true love. She did so. I said to her, ‘If there is a question to be asked then I ask you to ask it and if I need to know the answer then I ask you to tell me the answer.’ She said, ‘There is one heart. There is one love.’ Jesus kept repeating in my inner hearing that he had placed his sacred heart in my heart – ‘My heart is your heart, my love is your love, we are one heart and one love.’
I asked Jesus how can I know this is true – that what he tells me is true? He said, ‘You will know it is true when you live as I AM.’ I was on fire with love exploding in every cell of my body. Jesus then said,
‘There is great work needing to be done in the world. Help me to heal the world with love.’
I kept trying to be silent and to hear nothing – as per the advice of Meister Eckhart and John of the Cross but I could not stop hearing and feeling the Sacred Heart of love loving me with such intensity that I could have died for love.
Later on, in my inner seeing, I ‘perceived’ a massive Cross of Light filling the entire area of the church in front of and above the altar – reaching the sky – filling the earth – blazing, glorious Light of Christ. At the very end, as the lady was placing the Host back in the tabernacle – I felt it with every fibre of my being – the holiness and sanctity of moving the Host. Then I heard, ‘I have placed myself in the tabernacle of your heart, carry me to the world.’ Amen, Amen, Amen.
A very, very holy locution that I heard as I fell asleep last night and heard several times during the night:
‘Become Who I AM.’ … ‘Live as Me.’
I had such a deep understanding, as I never had before, that the Call to us is to become ‘Who I AM’ in our whole being. The gift of our design is that we have the capacity or the potential to become other than we are … to become divine in reality while still human. It sounds like a contradiction but it isn’t – it’s a paradox and a mystery and it is still true. The I AM is Love. Thus, to become ‘Who I AM’ is the call to Love and the call to become Love. (Being becomes knowing).
During my morning sit I heard,
‘Make of yourself a living tabernacle of love; a new arc of the covenant of love.’
I felt such holiness and powerful energetics in me that I felt as if I could birth a galaxy out my womb, out of my own self.
Feeling a most sacred peace in me. I prayed, ‘I place myself in the Sacred Heart of your love.’
Then I heard Jesus say to me in my heart,
‘My heart is your heart, there is one heart.
My love is your love, there is one love.
My peace is your peace, there is one peace.
My stillness is your stillness, there is one stillness.
My joy is your joy, there is one joy.
My light is your light, there is one light.
All I have, I give to you.
All you have, give it to me.’
Amen.
The holiness of it was staggering. Then I was hearing the song of St Francis, Make me a channel of your peace, where there is darkness only light …. Then I prayed, ‘Make me a channel of your love.’ Fire exploded in me. Then I heard,
‘Your sorrow is my sorrow
Your sadness is my sadness
Your pain is my pain
Your hurt is my hurt
Your wounds are my wounds.
‘Let me bathe your wounds in my love
Let me comfort your hurt with my kindness
Let me soothe your pain with my ease
Let me lift your sadness with my joy and
Let me exchange your sorrow for my joy.’
In my morning meditation I began by offering my heart-body as a resting place for Jesus. I invited him ‘to rest in my sacred heart.’ Stilling myself to make a calm, quiet place of peace for Jesus on Earth today. Such beauty, such serenity in my soul. Feeling Divine Love in me, filling me up – infusing itself into me – filling up every cell in my body. Then, slowly, over the period of my sit, I heard Jesus say,
‘I AM the Light that surrounds you. I AM the Light within you. I am not myself, I AM you. You are not yourself, you are me.’
Such peace – and a blazing fire of peaceful love in me.
‘Rest your sacred heart in my Sacred Heart. Become love in me.’
Not yet knowing today was the Feast of the Sacred Heart, in my morning sit I heard, ‘Hold me close in your love today, daughter of my heart.’ I replied, ‘Hold me close in your heart today, Christ the Sacred Father.’ That evening I went to the church for Adoration. The experience was beyond holiness – unspeakable, unutterable holiness. Unbelievable holiness. Jesus spoke to me in my heart,
‘I have placed my holy love in your sacred heart. … I have placed the light of my love in your holy heart. … I have placed my Sacred Heart in your heart. My Sacred heart beats in your heart….’
Incredible holiness. Then the words of St Teresa of Avila were in my heart-mind, ‘Inflamatus cor meum est.’ I was feeling a blazing fire burn in my heart. Jesus said,
‘All of heaven can see the fire of love in my heart for you.’ Everything I spoke to Jesus, he spoke back to me.
Even as he filled my heart to overflowing with his fiery love I still had a flicker of doubt that this could be actually happening, could all be true, and I heard Jesus say,
‘When will you believe that I AM you and you are me?’
There were many other blessings including,
‘I have filled you with my light that you would carry me to the world.’
‘Follow me.’
Beautiful sit, as usual. I prayed a decade of the Rosary – Mary finds Jesus in the temple. Then I read a short introduction to The Interior Castle. Thereafter, spiritual dryness. Except for about two moments of rapture it was mostly nothing. I was sad but I let it go – praying to have equanimity in the face of deprivation as much as with abundant blessings flowing into me. Sad, but not letting myself sink into sadness. Then I heard,
‘Write of my love in your Book of Love. Write of how my heart is your heart, my love is your love, my life is your life. Tell them of my love for you and for all. Write of my love, of my love transfigured to pain and the return to love. Of how I conquered the pain of the world and transfigured it to love in my own being.’ … ‘You are a chalice of my love in the world – I have filled your cup to overflowing. Carry me to the world.’
A beautiful, peaceful sit. Committed to being utterly neutral and not seeking, reaching, or clinging to anything that may unfold. I started with a decade of the Rosary for the Baptism of our Lord and reading introduction from St Faustina. My prayer was that I entrust everything to Christ the king. I ask nothing for myself but what God wills for me. Today I will begin writing the book of visions. Bless me all of heaven to discern well the way forwards with this work of love. Aiming for equanimity and no judgement, aiming for peaceful co-creative existence in Love as Love, in the Light as Light, even while I struggle on in this human form. Trusting to the loving care of my father Jesus, I pray for guidance in every second of the day in every letter of the work. Amen. Over the course of the sit I heard the following:
‘Receive my love…. Become who I AM…. Become for me, as I became for you.…’
From the bag of jewels under my rib emerged a golden key, and I heard,
‘The key to love is love. Unlock the love of heaven with the key of your love. Become me as I became you.’
That evening in prayer I felt exquisite, fiery holiness and love burning in me. The words of my morning sit came strongly back into my mind: ‘Receive my love. Become Who I AM.’ I fell into ecstasy. Hearing again, ‘Receive my love,’ I said to Jesus, ‘I cannot receive your love unless it is you in me who receives it. I, as my finite, human self, cannot receive this I AM Love. To experience the reception of ‘Love’ in me I must become Love (as in philosophy, to know something we must become it).’ As I uttered that prayer, I heard again,
‘Become Who I AM.’
And in a fiery flood of ecstasy I finally understood that, yes, to receive God’s love, I must become ‘Who I AM.’ Sacred, holy, fire flooding my being. My philosophical understanding is coming to life and being performed in me. To receive the Love, I must become the Love. My consciousness must become I AM consciousness – as like knows like – ecstasy. As I realised that I finally understood what God has been offering me for years (Become who I AM) someone poured coins into the candle coin box and I felt the penny drop at last!
At last, I felt in my body the sacred connection, and maybe even the enactment, of the two parts: Receive my Love; Become Who I Am. In order for us to receive / become Love we must receive / become the consciousness of Love.
Incredible.
The following day I was walking in nature reflecting on that powerful moment in the church last night when I felt the enactment of God asking me to: ‘Receive my Love’ and my realising that I, as a finite human being am not able to receive the love of God because I am too small. For me to receive the love of God would annihilate me – my finitude would be obliterated by the power of it. And reflecting on the philosophical principle that like knows like – and can only know like – the realisation that if I am to receive the Love of God in me, I must become God, (or God must become me which She already has), I must become infinite. I must allow God to transform my finite human being-ness into infinite, divine, being-ness and therefore enter Union. If I or anyone is to receive God as Love, I, we, must become God as Love. And this is as terrifying as it is ecstatic. It seems from the human standpoint to be profane – to say that I am becoming God or that God is transforming me into God (becoming me), that I am invited into Union or oneness with God, it seems profane, but in fact it is unutterably holy from the perspective of the Divine. And this, then, is the path of deification and transformation.
Reflecting on the Jewish people as the chosen race. God entering humanity … God, the Divine Intellect, knowing that what has been given to humanity is, at the moment, too much for us to understand, and so God became human in the person of Jesus, in order to show us, not just how to live, but saying,
‘I will walk the path with you. I will demonstrate what it means to be both human and divine. I will also take your lack of understanding, your sins, and failings onto my own being, and I will sacrifice my own humanity for you. I will bear the brunt of your sinning in my own being which is sinless. I will surrender to death on the cross so that you will be healed. I, Jesus, need no healing but I am showing you how it is that you have been healed by my love. So, I am inviting each of you to live as I lived, in selfless surrender to the other, to carry for the other what the other cannot carry.’
As I was walking and thinking these thoughts a butterfly rested on a leaf beside me – beautiful brown colour with yellow-golden spots on its wings and I realised there is an originary arc of transformation from Spirit to matter. I understood God to be saying, ‘It was painful for me God /Spirit to become matter but it was worth it to create the beauty of the natural / material world.’ God is saying to us, ‘Yes, there is pain in transformation; yes, there is pain in transforming or transfiguring from one state to the other.’ And, yes, it is painful for us to transform from the material back to the spiritual but the first thing God wants us to know is, that it’s worth it. The ecstasy of the spiritual state is well worth the pain of transfiguration and transformation – just as the pain of childbirth is worth it for the mother. But not only that, God is saying, ‘I will carry the pain for you – give me the pain – I will hold the pain.’ Jesus held the pain of our transformation – and now the Christ says, ‘I will hold your pain, give it to me, I will hold it while you transform. I will hold your pain as you return me to Myself.’
(Noting also, if we don’t transform here – we won’t be magically transformed after we die – the path of transformation is the work of the human condition.)
God has given Itself / Herself / Himself to creation, to nature, to humanity, as creation, as nature, as humanity. God cannot abandon its own self, so something is being played out whereby God / The Light ensures our return home. I don’t know if some humans will get left behind but I do know I am called to participate and contribute, and to walk this path home in my own life, in my own experience and understanding. I can share my personal experience with others and use my personal experience as an example of the universal experience of Return. With sublime humility, and acknowledging my fear of risking grandiosity, I want to walk that path of surrender that Jesus walked, that path of self-surrender to transformation and transfiguration from my human-self back to my light-self, my divine-self, which is the return of matter to spirit. Amen.
As much as we must not cling to our equality with God, we must not reject it either, but walk a middle road of acceptance between the two. Then Jesus then said to me: ‘I took your suffering onto myself – can you not take my love?’ Thereby giving me to understand that the whole dynamic is reciprocal. There is a painful beauty or a beautiful pain in the mystic experience. To become one with The I AM is to live as love – in constant ‘presence’, empty of self, clinging to nothing, open to abundance and single minded.
Evening sit in the church. I heard,
‘You are the daughter of my most Sacred Heart, the daughter of my heart, the rose of my love. Blossom with my love in your heart.’
A few days later I went to the church for evening Adoration. At St Joseph’s side altar I saw there were no candles lit and I was sad. I said with my inner voice, ‘I’m sorry I have no money with me to light a candle’, and immediately a fire exploded in my heart so I said, I have only the fire of love in my heart to give you. I give it you who gave it to me.’ When I next opened my eyes, I saw an exquisite tiny delicate white flame of light (reflected from somewhere else) in the exact middle of the vase of flowers on his altar.
At the altar of the Sacred Heart, my heart was full of love, deep, deep, love for my beloved father Jesus. I looked at the decorated ceiling of the alcove and I saw a painted rose with a baby’s face in its centre. I think it was then that I heard Jesus say, ‘You are the blessed rose of my Sacred Heart.’ Fire, fire, fire exploded in my body. I felt unbelievable holiness. I knelt in adoration before the Blessed Sacrament for quite some time. Then Jesus said to me in my heart, ‘Sit and let me pour my love into your sacred heart. You will only say, Amen.’ Then began a glorious, sacred, sublime, fiery, passionate, outpouring of poetic love from Jesus’ Sacred Heart into my heart.
‘You are the sacred heart of my love, let me pour my love into your sacred heart.’
Fire. Fire. Fire. Then Jesus said,
‘Can you receive my love into your sacred heart?’
I was exploding with fire and with love and suggested to Jesus that it was too much for him to give me this much love. (It felt that I could be annihilated by his love – I couldn’t take it in). He said,
‘Are you saying my love is too much for the world?’
From then on all I said was ‘Amen’ to everything he said. Then Jesus said,
‘I will plant the rose of my love in your sacred heart. Will you let the rose of my love blossom in your heart and let it be shared with the whole world?’
Amen. Amen. Amen.
I’m only recalling parts of it all here. It was sublime holiness. Then Jesus was calling me his sacred daughter:
‘You are my sacred daughter of my sacred heart. You are the daughter of my heart. You are the blessed daughter of my holy heart. You are my beloved Sarah-Rose, daughter of my heart.’
Ecstasy. Awe. Rapture. Fire. Love. Indescribable ecstasy. He said,
‘I birthed you out of my Sacred Heart and planted you in my Sacred Womb. I planted you in the Sacred Rose of Christ and birthed you out of her holy Womb into the Sacred Heart. The world is my Sacred Heart.’
I was overwhelmed by the holiness. I’m not remembering it properly. I felt my heart exploding.
‘Will you let the rose of my love blossom in your heart? Will you let me share my love with the world through you?’ … ‘I am pouring my love into your sacred heart, pouring my blood into the chalice of your heart.’…. ‘My heart is your heart. We are one heart.’
ECSTATIC. I was holding my hands over my heart in reverence. Jesus had also said:
‘Take my hand.’ I felt like I was holding his hand. Then he said, ‘I will be the gardener of your heart.’
Most holy, most holy, most holy. I was almost collapsing with the holiness of it all. Then at one point calling St Teresa of Ávila to stand guard at my side to help me receive this holy love and to protect me from error or delusion. It was unbelievable – there was more but I can’t recall it all now.
At one point, in ecstasy with my head to the side I was prompted to open my eyes and they were looking at the last Station when Jesus is taken down from the Cross. Holy Fire. Seeing Jesus’ body lying on the ground I heard, ‘I am already transfigured. I was already transfigured in my Crucifixion.’ Recalling my morning Rosary, the Sorrowful mysteries, Jesus is laid in Mary’s arms and I was understanding Mary, in intense mystical experience, and seeing her beloved son transfigured to Light. This evening also understanding how Mother Mary was trying to protect Mary Magdalene who she knew was carrying the Rose of heaven in her womb. Amen Amen Amen.
Then I heard, ‘Fall on your knees and worship me.’ I knelt to worship my beloved, glorious Christ, my father, my king.
The following litany of love was spoken:
O most glorious Christ
O most powerful Christ
O most illustrious Christ
O most illuminated Christ
O most holy Christ
O most joyous Christ
O most peaceful Christ
O most still Christ
O most just Christ
O most compassionate Christ
O most beautiful and adored Christ,
King of my sacred heart.
Amen.
Jesus continued,
‘I will uproot any weeds or anything untoward that enters your sacred heart. I will be the gardener of your heart. I will tend to the rose of my love in your heart until it blossoms forth with my love.’ …. ‘Can you feel the imprint of my love on your heart?’
Most sacred and beloved Christ, I do no justice at all with my words to the beauty of what you gave me to experience in your holy church. At the end, I was seeing myself as a medieval scribe … seeing the manuscript with a green and gold decorative opening letter and then seeing the flow of those golden symbols of light flowing onto the pages – vellum – laying themselves in order onto the page – golden symbols writing themselves onto the manuscript. I sensed, I am an illuminator. I wonder did I write or draw or both? At the very end Jesus said,
‘These golden symbols, (light language) flow continuously through the air.’
‘My sacred heart is your sacred heart, rose-daughter of my heart.’
Deo Gracias. ‘Daughters of Christ’, ‘The Rose of Heaven, Shared consciousness of Sarah my beloved daughter of Christ, the Rose of heaven.’
I heard,
‘I crown you with my love, most holy daughter of my heart. Will you wear the crown of love in your heart … will you receive the crown of my love in your heart and guard it with your life?’
Later on, I heard
‘It is not blood that drops from the thorns of my crown, but love. It is not blood that runs in your veins but love. Treasure my Sacred Heart as your own. I anoint you, daughter of my Sacred Heart to carry my love to the world. In you I trust, in you I trust.’
(I was close to being overwhelmed by the beauty of all I was hearing and wondered maybe was I imagining it all…?) Then Jesus said,
‘Why do you resist my love?’
Then he said,
‘Receive my love in your sacred heart. Inscribe my love into the heart of humanity with these holy words.’
O most unutterably holy time spent with the glorious mysteries introduced by St. Faustina. Unspeakable holiness flooding my heart and my being. Indescribable. Feeling my head then to be ‘pierced’ with the crown of God’s love …
‘It is not blood that drops from my crown of thorns but love; my crown of thorns blossoming with love, with the roses of your love for me. Share your love for me with the world.’
I was seeing the Crown of love – as a pure golden light, being placed into my heart. Indescribable joy. (I drew a picture in my journal). I prayed,
‘O radiant love of God, fill me to overflowing so that every breath I take may be filled with your love. Every thought I think be filled with your love. Every act I perform be filled with your love.’
In reply Jesus said,
‘You have seen my crown of thorns transfigure to a crown of light – wear my crown of light in your blessed heart, blessed daughter of my Sacred Heart.’… ‘Daughter of Christ.’
I asked, Is there to be an Order of the Daughters of Christ? Jesus replied, ‘The only power I give you is the power to be a servant to humanity.’
At the end of my prayer time Jesus said,
‘It is easier for people to pierce me with their nails than to accept my love.’
My prayer is that I would get myself out of the way of the transmission of God’s love to others through sharing what God shares with me. That God’s love would shine forth into the world, through me, but also without me. This is my deep prayer.
Christ, I give you my heart that it may be a worthy receptacle of your love;
I give you my body that it may be a worthy receptacle of your love;
I give you my mind and my soul that they may be worthy receptacles of your love;
I give you who I am that I may be worthy of receiving your love.
Fire.
Then I was seeing my soul as a chalice of white light above my head; my body was its stem. I was seeing the holy crown of thorns resting on the rim of the chalice, and pouring its love, as a golden river of light, into my chalice, into my being. Seeing also my interior fully lit with this light and knowing this is the light of Christ who lives in me. My inner words were that, ‘The light of Christ shines in me; the light of Christ is in me; I am the light of Christ.’ Fire.
Awe-filled remembering that this was the very first holy message I received in 2015 when I heard Christ say ‘I am the I AM. The light of Christ shines in this house.’
Then Jesus said:
‘There is a place for everyone in my heart – all that is needed is that they would claim it.’
Beautiful sit in Rathgar church for morning Mass. During Mass Jesus said to me:
‘What has happened to the people I created to receive my love? You are living out of alignment with your true nature, your true function, and your true purpose. Your purpose is to receive my love but you live for yourselves rather than living to receive my love. I created you to receive the gift and the joy of my love and you will not receive it. Instead you have turned to yourselves for meaning in life. You have erected barriers against receiving my love. You have desecrated my holy land, you have desecrated the earth, and you have desecrated your own selves. Return to my love. Return to who I AM. Return to me and receive my love so that you may become Who I Am. So that you may remember who you are in my love, so that you may remember who I AM.’
After Holy Communion I asked Jesus for a sign of his presence in me. He said,
‘I am the light that shines in you. I am the light that shines forth in you. I am the light that people see in you. Shine with my love and share me with the world as I have shared myself with you. I have become who I AM in you.’ … ‘Share the gift of my love with others. I have filled your treasure chest with my jewels, the jewels of my love. Share my jewels with the world. Feed the poor with the holy word of my love.’
Then, kneeling before the altar of the Sacred Heart I felt such strong energetics in my heart space that it seemed as if Jesus was actually placing his heart into me. I heard,
‘I have given you my sacred heart to carry to the world. … Carry my love to the world. Become who I am in you. Receive my love. … You are my rose, my blessed rose, the blessed rose of my Sacred Heart. … I have given my sacred heart into your tender care. I have crowned you with the thorns of my love … I have crowned your sacred heart with the thorns of my love.’
In awe-filled response I prayed:
I have become who I am in you.
I have become who I am in you.
I have become who I am in you.
I pray to become who I am in you.
Help me to become who I am in you.
Help me to be who I am in you.
Help me to live as I am in you.
Amen. Deo Gracias.
‘Do not be scared to speak for me. I will take care of you as my own self. I live in you. Go out into the world and heal the poor of heart in my holy name.’
Morning sit. Looking within, I see my heart as a golden tabernacle – shining as a golden light within me. Then I see a Host of pure light shine within me and I hear: ‘I live in you now.’ In time, I see this inner Host rise out of me and expand beautifully beyond my body. It fully fans out around me so that I am now held inside a majestic Host of Light. Then I heard,
‘Go out into the world and share the good news of my love. You are living out of alignment with your true design. The people I chose to receive my love have rejected my love. They have chosen to walk a different path. The fuel of life is love – yet you live lives that you choose for yourselves. You are born for love yet you try to live without love. If the earth decided to move along its own chosen path in the universe it would cause the whole order and structure of the universe to collapse. This is what has happened to humanity. Humanity is designed to live for love yet it has chosen its own path. That is why there is discordance and disharmony where there should be accord and harmony; why there is hunger when there should be feasting; and pain where there should be joy.’
On fire, and in awe, I said in reply: ‘Jesus, my king, nail me to your Cross of love and never let me go. I give myself to you in love and I am joyous and humbled to do so.’ Jesus said,
‘I live in you, as you live in me. I am you, as you are me.’ … ‘Share my love with the world as I have shared it with you.’… ‘I do not ask you to engage in political debates with the church, I ask you to share my love with the poor.’
… As little as we understand e=mc squared but accept it as a governing law of science – why can we not accept love as the governing law of life?
Jesus tells me I am the daughter of his love. He calls me Sarah Rose, daughter of his heart. My aim is to understand my inner consciousness that names me Sarah Rose daughter of Christ. It’s this holy consciousness of a daughter of Christ, that with fear and trembling, I claim. At first with great trepidation and hesitation, then slowly, with increasing confidence.
If the goal of life is to know yourself – and if in my search to know myself I discover that I am a daughter of Christ - why would I run from who I discover myself to be? Why would I reject the fruits of my fifty year search to know who I am? Instead, grateful to be learning equanimity from wise teachers I observe the self-knowing that is revealed in the act of uncovering who I am. I observe it and try not to run from it nor to run towards it. Rather, to gently experiment living with it and in it. What might it mean to live in the consciousness of Sarah Rose …? This is the journey I now find myself embarking on. This is the pilgrimage of my life – to walk the path of life home to love, trying to embody the consciousness of what it would mean to be a daughter of Christ.
I don’t think individual consciousness is where identity lies anymore – but in the collective. I’m wondering to which ‘layer or level of collective consciousness do each of us belong? (Maybe this is what Ken Wilber talks about.) Rather than finding oneself as a self-identifying, self-standing, finite essence - I think we now discover that we share consciousness over space and time, over millennia and civilisations, over cultures and creeds. I think we find that we share a consciousness once embodied by a singular human being who inaugurated and enunciated that consciousness for us. This is what Jesus did. This is what Christ is. This is what Mary Magdalene did, and Mother Mary did. What Mechthild of Magdeburg and Gertrude of Helfta did. What Teresa of Ávila and Hildegard of Bingen did. What Buddha and Confucius did. It’s what William Blake did – they instantiated a new consciousness for all.
Where once we may have been called to be disciples of these teachers who by their being brought humanity on – now we are called to share their consciousness – not as child-disciples but as co-creators participating in instantiating the shift for all of humanity…. Each contributing to a different facet of the ‘diamond life.’ Why? I cannot say. I can only say it is what my sense and my intuition tells me … it’s what grandmother tree helps me to understand … it’s what I am prepared to believe for myself because I cannot find anything better to explain all that I observe happening on our lost and lonely planet at this time. … I am prepared to try to live out of the consciousness of Sarah Rose and help her birth her vision of a healed humanity, healed in love for the next millennium, the new age.
Conceiving the Unity of Being is not enough. Isn’t it better to birth what we know and not merely to conceive of it. Isn’t it richer to let the conception to come full term and emerge into its wholeness and flourishing as it was conceived to do. By not birthing our conceptions they lie stagnant within us – unable to be unconceived, risking either petrification or a stillbirth – coming out with no vitality or life-force but a mere iteration of an idea rather than the vibrant, although painful birth of the idea into form, into body, into life. This self-conception also deserves, and needs, self-birthing. That in me of which I conceive, I offer to birth with my being into my life and into my world.
I finished my reflections with a prayer:
I am the chalice of Christ. The cup of his blood. The grail of his love for Mother Magdalene. My heart is crowned with his thorns that bleed love into my veins.
Can I admit to who I am and stop inventing fictions to explain my truth and hiding it under a lie, a veneer, a fiction that culture, civilisation, and Christianity has given to me to hide behind. Can I be who I am and honour you to be who you are too?
In the church I approached the altar of the Sacred Heart and immediately I heard in my heart,
‘Sarah Rose, daughter of my heart. I am the gardener of your heart.’
All the beautiful things Jesus had said on the last first Friday now he repeated and so reminded me of how much I had forgotten. ‘I have planted my love in your sacred heart. I will tend to my love in your heart. I will be the gardener of your heart and tend to my love until it blossoms forth and is shared with the world.’
I asked Jesus so many times could I trust all this love and locution was coming from the Christ. He said,
‘Who but I Who Am love could speak to you of Love in this way? Who but I whose name is Love, whose truth is Love, could speak to you of the truth of Love; could convert you to Love?’
So much wondrous, fiery, beautiful exchange with Jesus throughout my sit at the altar – for about an hour but I cannot recall more now. Towards the end I said a private confession and then asked Jesus what my penance should be? He said,
‘Your penance is to love me more.’
He said,
‘Do not be scared to speak for me. I will take care of you as my own self. I live in you. Go out into the world and heal the poor of heart in my holy name.’
‘Follow me. Walk in the footsteps of my love.’
Inside, I was disbelieving the scale of the holiness that I am experiencing – thinking it is all too much for me, and the like … then Jesus spoke again and said,
‘Why do you resist my words; why do you doubt my voice? How can I share myself with you if you will not listen?’
Morning sit. I began by offering my brokenness and my naivety on the altar of love. Praying that God might use even my weakness to help heal the world. Then I was hearing the loving words of Christ with my inner hearing: ‘Follow me …. Walk in the footsteps of my love.’
I asked, as I was advised to ask, ‘Is this the Christ?’ three times. I heard,
‘Who but me would speak to you so tenderly of my love?
Who but me would place my church into your heart for healing?
Who but me would take you into my Sacred Heart and there transform and transfigure you in my love?
Why will you not listen to me?
Why do you resist my words?
I said, ‘You know, Jesus, the reason I resist … that I fear falling prey to delusion or illusion and I fear that I am listening to my own ego and my own imaginary voice. I fear I don’t know how to be sure it is you who speaks in my heart.’
Jesus said:
‘My child, you have learned to doubt where once you trusted. You have learned fear where once you had love. Listen to my voice and harden not your heart.’
I was heartbroken to know that it is true, I have learned to doubt where once I found my joy. Then I was feeling energy moving under my right rib the way I often feel it when my energies are shifting. Looking within I saw the next chrysalis hanging from my rib transform into a tiny golden cup and I heard,
‘You are the chalice of my love; I have filled your cup with my blood; share my love with the world.’
In reply I prayed, ‘Attune me to the wavelength, the frequency, the note, the vibration and the chord of your love that I may vibrate with your love in the world.’ Then I saw that every cell in my body was now a golden cup, a chalice, and that in my whole being I was a chalice of light receiving the blood of Christ transfigured to love. Understanding that through me, Christ may share his love with the world. Again, I heard,
‘You are my cup, the chalice of my love, carry my love to the world.’
In profound brokenness I said, ‘Jesus, can you show me the way? Can you lead me every step of the way so that it is you and not me who offers your love to the world. This is my earnest prayer for protection.’
Jesus replied,
‘I have poured my blood into your cup, into the cup of your love and there it transfigures to love. Let the world drink of my love from your cup.’
During the night I heard the Divine Voice say to me, over and over again:
‘Seek the truth with that which is the truth in you.’
Reflecting later, that, only truth knows truth; only like knows like; and only love knows love.
In my inner seeing I saw myself as my light self, my angelic self, my higher self, and understanding that she accompanies me not only on incarnation and death but in every moment of life. This is ‘Waking up’ – accepting that our light and our matter are joined as one. This is union. Then I heard,
‘This is the Divine Exchange. Give me your humanity and I give you my divinity.’
This is your birthright – not something extra – to re-discover yourself in the light so that I may live as you and you may live as me.’
Reflecting that people reject the light for different reasons – either to favour the dark, or because they don’t understand, or because they fear the light or because they don’t have confidence to live as the light they are. We are fearful to stand out, to be different, fearful not to fall in with the culture. People reject the light – yet the light is the only thing that can save us.
‘Let me live in you as I am, and let yourself live in me as I am.’
To discover our light essence is to marry our light to our darkness, our light to our body-self, and our light to the Light. Waking up is Union and Oneness.
All matter, including humanity, emerges out of the Light. There is no physical umbilical cord trying us to the light – but there is an energetic light cord connecting all matter always to the Light. The human grows into the awareness of her belonging to the light and then feeds herself from that Source ever after.
‘Live in my Light. Live in Me, so that I can live in you.’
Hearing the Divine Voice speaking to me:
‘If I lay my sacred heart onto the pages of your books will you share my love with the world?’
‘Until human love becomes divine love it has not yet reached its full potential. The essence and character of nature is for potential to be actualized. … Just because people don’t realise that human love is created to become divine love does not make it untrue.’
‘Can you accept your humanity as much as you embrace your divinity?”
‘You learned to love God with ease. You learned to love humanity with ease. You must learn to love yourself. All these are in you: God, Nature and all of humanity – they are in you, loving you. You are the only one blocking this love from flourishing in you.’
‘Up to now you have been a child - hiding in monasteries and behind mothers…. It is time for you to be the mother now. … Can you live in community with others and share all that you know of love? Can you share my love and not then run away to hide and pretend you did nothing? Can you speak, and then stand with others as they hear the words? Can you remain standing as the words echo and resonate in their hearts? Can you be for me to the end? It is no longer any help to love me in private. You must share your love for me with the world. Invite them to the altar of your love for me, let them share in your ceremonies of love.’
A little while later I was reading Native American, Steven Charleston’s book, The Four Vision Quests of Jesus. He was speaking about the need for vulnerability. I was reflecting on my own vulnerability when Jesus interrupted my thoughts saying:
‘It took no vulnerability on your part to sit to meditate. No vulnerability to receive the flood of my love in your heart. No vulnerability to enjoy the miracles I shared with you in nature. No vulnerability to write and record the visions, ecstasies, raptures and joy I placed in your heart. No vulnerability to be transformed in my love. No vulnerability to read the stories of my beloved women who wrote of their love for me. No vulnerability to write a book for me that entered the commercial world of publishing. It takes no vulnerability to wrestle in your heart with receiving my love. None of these things is a real challenge to you. The real test of your humility, and your willingness to be vulnerable for me is: Can you share with others all that I share with you? Can you carry my love to the world exactly as I give it to you to carry? Can you offer to others, as a mere conduit, all that I offer to you of my love for the world? Why do you keep to yourself all that I ask you to share with the world?’
Feeling utterly chastened, yet also grappling with the ever present practical question of where I should share these visions and locutions? I asked Jesus, ‘Am I to put it all on social media, on my website … where will I put it all? Jesus said, ‘Put it where people will find it.’
Evening sit. In ecstasy for nearly the entire hour. The most sublime mystical conversation with my beloved Jesus. I actually cannot recall any of the first half except that it was possibly holier than any previous communion with my beloved Jesus. The central message was, ‘Share my love with the world.’
For the second half, I asked Jesus to look with me into the reliquary where he laid down my gifts in the beginning. Fire Fire Fire. I looked in and saw a golden chalice gleaming with golden light. It was quite small and I was looking down on it so I could see into its cup. Jesus said,
‘Behind the wooden doors of your heart is my light.’
I was exploding with rapture and joy. Jesus said, ‘
You are the key to the tabernacle of my love; you are the dove of peace; you are my butterfly of light; and you are the chalice of my love.’
Fire!!!! He said,
‘You are the token of my love, my keepsake growing in the womb of my beloved Magdalene.’
Ecstasy. Then he said,
‘I was thirsty and you gave me a drink. Now you are thirsty and I give you the cup of my love to drink.’
Blazing fire burning in my body.
‘You are the cup of my love. Share my love with the world.’
Towards the end, I wondered would I ever be able to capture in my journal the intensity and the holiness of all that had transpired. Jesus said,
‘Some visions are too holy to record…. There are no words and no alphabet capable of describing what you are experiencing. You must share me with the world by being my love.’
Most holy. Most holy. Most holy. I was transfixed by the intensity and the joy that flooded my body, my mind, my heart, and soul.
Blessed be God on high and Mother Earth beneath our feet. To experience this sublime ecstasy defies explanation and even description. I am your most willing servant-daughter … do with me as you will.
With my inner hearing, during meditation I heard Christ say,
‘The earth is the altar on which I will build my new church of Love.’
Morning sit in the garden. With my inner hearing I heard:
‘Trust in me as I trust in you and do not lose hope. I have made a home for myself in your heart, I have made a place for myself in the womb of your love. Do not despair. Look at the holly tree shining in the morning sunlight, trusting that all it needs will be provided by Mother Earth. You too must trust that all you need to grow will be provided by your Mother-Father in heaven. You are my own precious daughter – daughter of my heart and of my love. Carry me in your heart as I carry you in mine. Feel the blessing of my love in your life.’
Later that morning at Mass, after holy communion, I was praying for guidance, wondering should I share these visions? Instantly Jesus replied,
‘I have filled your treasure chest to overflowing with my jewels that you would share them with the poor. Feed the poor of spirit with the food of my love.’… ‘Feed the poor of spirit, feed the poor of heart, feed the lonely and the destitute with the food of my love.’
Light enters the cup,
It becomes water.
The water turns to wine,
The wine to blood,
The blood is love.
Praying to the Magdalene Rose.
I heard Christ saying to me,
‘Give me your heart.’
I said, ‘Christ, beloved, how can you ask for my heart when I have already given you my heart? When my heart already belongs to you, lives in your sacred heart?’
With a fire burning in my body, then I heard
Christ ask me, ‘
'What do you see?'
I said, ‘I see a rose on fire in my heart, and with every dancing flame, the scent of love is released in me.’
I asked Christ, 'What do you see?'
He said,
‘I see the fire of my love and the blossoming of my rose in you. I see myself in you. I see all that I am in you…. There is a rose blossoming in my heart and her name is love.’
Fire.
Then I saw Christ's fire of love burning and blossoming in me.
I said, ‘I see myself in the mirror of your love, burning and blossoming as a rose of fire. I see your love burning in me…. I see that I have become one with you.’
I asked, ‘What do you see?’
Christ said,
‘I see myself in the mirror of your love as my own self. Love on fire, the rose blossoming with love. I see myself in you. We are one.’
Blessed Rose of Charon,
Rose of Damascus,
Rose of the Garden of Gethsemane,
Rose of the Holy Sepulchre,
Rose of the Garden of Love,
Rose of Galilee,
Rose of Christ,
Rose of Love,
Rose of Fire,
Rose of Beauty and of Joy.
Rose of Christ, blossom in me.
Fire of Christ burn in me.
Morning sit. Very beautiful.
I invited the blessing of the sacred rose oil to my heart, womb, and wisdom eye. I invited the image of the chalice with the rose into my inner seeing. I had seen it before in a previous vision. It appears. How beautiful. I see writing inscribed on the body of the chalice. I see some triangles, one up one down, beside each other in a row. At first, the design was unclear, but I could see that there were triangles there. I could also see what looked like symbols or hieroglyphs. I hear,
‘The chalice that bears the rose is the chalice of my love.’
Fire! I see that the rose sits on golden liquid in the chalice - the liquor of love. The rose feeds off the golden liquor. Then I see the sisters of the rose gathering in a circle around the central chalice. Each one drinks the liquid of love. Mary Magdalene, Brigid, Aodhammair, Mechthild of Magdeburg, Gertrude of Helfta… all the sacred women who are special to me: I know them as the Women of the Rose. I wonder about the blessing of my womb and heart, and I see a rose tree growing inside me. Every white leaf is sacred, every blossom holy. I know I am a priestess of the rose. Fire. Awe. I am the energy of love. I stand for, and hold the presence of love, in the world.
Then I drink from the chalice and a flood of light pours into me and fills me. The golden light is love. I recognise the chalice as the Chalice of the Rose. Then with inner hearing, I hear again,
‘The chalice that bears the rose is the chalice of my love.’ Fire. Awe. Beauty.
I began my sit in great reverence, lighting my altar candle and incense. I used Rose oil to anoint my body, heart, womb, and third eye. I have Holy water from Brigid’s Well on my altar. Heart seeing. Heart opening. I settled into my meditation. I envisaged myself standing on the shoreline of a lake. I asked my small self to step to the side, and then I’m seeing my human body stand back to observe. I felt a huge presence and knew it was the Great Mother. Her presence was in the form of a huge energy field hovering over the lake. Then I hear,
‘I am the mother of all life. I am Being itself. I am formless. I am without form. I create all things out of my own self.’
Fire and Awe. I noticed that I was still observing rather than being a part of what was happening in the vision. I wanted to enter the True Self, higher consciousness. I wanted to allow that to happen, to step beyond finite, limited, bodily consciousness, and to be in the great mother. For several minutes I became her. Fire and Awe….
I hear, ‘I am the creatrix of all life. I take on the forms in which I choose to deliver myself to the created world. I am Beauty and Truth. I am Wisdom and Love. I share myself through all I create. I created you to deliver my love to others. I chose to share my love through sacred words, art, poetry, song…. I create beings to bring my gifts to the human world. I created the earth and her galaxy in love as a creation of beauty. The world turned against my love and my gifts. Yet, I continue to flood my love and my beauty to the earth because this is Who I Am. I cannot stop delivering my love to you – even when no one seems to want my love. Does the rose withhold her scent when no one comes to smell her? Does the sun stop shining when no one comes outside to honour him? I created you to carry my words of love.…’
Great Mother continued,
‘I create first in energy. Then the energy takes form. The constellations appear first in energy and then re-constellate all the way down the energy field to matter. The Great Father and I separated in order to re-unite — for the ecstasy of our reunion. The sparks that explode on our re-union are the forms of our offspring – Wisdom Beauty, Truth, and Love. Wisdom, Beauty, Truth, and Love then produce their offspring and repeat the pattern of sharing, in eternity.’
‘I have given you the words of my love to share once more. You must lay my words before the people as a golden cloak on the ground beneath their feet. Even if they trample the gold with muddy boots, you must nonetheless lay it down. What matters for you is to lay it out before them — not to force them to read what I have written.’
Then, I come back to seeing myself at the lakeshore and a golden currach is awaiting me. I climb in. The boat glides across the water and travels into the light. There, I receive a library of golden books of love. My arms are filled with books. My cloak is adorned with symbols and golden hieroglyphs. I am golden light. I am again in the currach, which returns me to the shoreline. As the boat glides out of the light, I transition from light to matter, and land on the shore in a wooden boat, carrying one leather bound book and wearing a woollen cloak. All that can be seen in the light is no longer visible in this realm … yet. I write of the light and of love. In each generation there are those who carry the word of love afresh and set it down for others to read. Blessed be.
As part of my morning sit I read the following passages from Mechthild of Magdeburg’s medieval mystical masterpiece, The Flowing Light of the Godhead, written between 1240 - 1270. My body was ablaze, my mind in awe, as I read her exquisite words.
‘An unworthy person pondered in her simplicity God’s nobility. And God let her recognize in her senses and see with the eyes of her soul a fire that burned unceasingly in the heights above all things. The fire had been burning without a beginning and shall keep on burning without end. This fire is God eternal, who holds within himself eternal life and from whom all things have come forth. The sparks of the fire that have shot forth are the holy angels…. The rule of fire is yet to come. That is, Jesus Christ, to whom his heavenly Father has entrusted the first redemption and the last judgment. On the last day, out of the embers, he shall fashion for the heavenly Father the most exquisite chalices from which at his eternal wedding feast he himself shall drink all the holiness that, together with his dear Son, he has poured into our soul and into our human understanding.
Ah, I shall drink of you
And you shall drink of me
All the goodness that God has preserved in us.
Happy is [s]he who stands firm
And does not let spill
What God has poured into [her].
…. The comfort of the fire is the delightful pleasure that our soul receives inwardly from God through the warmth of the divine fire, so sacred that we, on fire, reflect back toward the heavenly fire, and we persevere in virtue so that we are not extinguished. …
The radiance of the fire is the gleaming sight of the divine countenance of the Holy Trinity that shall flood our body and soul with light, so that we shall see and know there the marvelous bliss that here we cannot even name
These things have come out of this fire and flow back into it, each according to God’s disposition, in eternal praise.’
‘Whoever wishes to speak more about this,
Let him prostrate himself in this fire
And see and taste how the Godhead flows,
How humanity pours,
How the Holy Spirit wrestles
And vanquishes many a heart,
Forcing it to love God in many different ways.’
Such beauty to read … and fire burning intensely in my body as I read.
(Mechthild of Magdeburg, The Flowing Light of the Godhead, translated, Frank Tobin, Classics of Western Spirituality.)
I heard:
‘In the beginning we were one. We divided. We were then two in one. The one was not two, but the two made the one. We divided and you went out into the world and I stayed in heaven. We divided with the sole intention of reuniting in an ecstasy on the marriage bed. We divided to reunite. We became two in order to become one. I gave you my sacred heart to companion you through your life, and I kept yours to companion me in heaven while you are gone. I am walking with you every step of the way, and the memory of you is walking with me in every minute. When our hearts meet we reunite in a blaze of ecstasy, in a riot of rapture, in an explosion of love. The whole point of dividing is to reunite.’
Reflecting on the Crucifixion of Christ on Good Friday. Imagining myself kissing the wound on his side. Then I hear,
‘Place your lips onto the wound of my love and let me pour my love into you. Unite your mouth to my wound so we are one. Let me pour my love into you, let me fill your cup, and let you share my love on the pages of your books. Place your ear to the wound of my love and listen to me pour the words of my love into your heart.’
Aedamar is a mystical and spiritual author in the lineage of the Cosmic Christ and the Exchange of the Sacred Heart.
Her awakening began with four life-changing mystical experiences that revealed the oneness and sacredness of all life, leading her to dedicate herself to living in alignment with these truths.
A former barrister, she later studied literature and philosophy, graduating with top honors and multiple academic awards. Her path turned decisively spiritual during her MA in Creative Writing, and she went on to earn an MA in Applied Spirituality. She won the 2019 Hay House writing competition in Ireland and published her spiritual teaching-memoir in 2021.
Today, Aedamar shares her sacred writing, supports women in their awakening, and encourages them to embrace their soul gifts and serve the healing of our world.
